Utterly Exhausted

I am tired.  Let me rephrase that: I am completely and utterly exhausted in almost every single capacity that one could possibly imagine in which they could potentially & possibly be tired.  That might sound a bit melodramatic, but trust me, I am not being hyperbolic. It’s a true statement. In fact, it’s so true, I can hardly get the energy to think about what I wanted to say here, let alone move my fingers to type.  I need toothpicks to keep my eyelids open.

You see, it’s just a matter of getting through the next couple of weeks intact. I’ve made it this far. I can do a couple more weeks (notice that I’m just trying to get through to the end of April…I’m not even thinking about May and the chaos the end of the school year brings with it). Just a few more days. One day at a time, I tell myself. Especially on days like today where I am just so exhausted by the end of the day that I struggle to stand, let alone walk to my bed so that I can fall in and fall asleep.  So why I am still up and writing? Honestly, I have no idea other than it seemed like a good idea at the time. Silly me.

And so, tonight I’ll pray that I get sound sleep that rejuvenates my body and spirit. I pray that I will have the strength to do all the things I need to do in the morning and throughout the next day. I pray that my pain level from Lyme disease stays at a tolerable level and that my vertigo doesn’t creep in. I pray that I don’t show my stress to my children so that they can enjoy being kids and sleep well.  I pray that I am a good mom. I pray that I have the energy to show my love for what I do to my students; and that they would know that I care about them as people because of my actions. I pray that I don’t mess up, but that if I do, I react with graciousness and use the opportunity to learn. I pray that I can hold it all together. I pray for peace in my life when I make the really hard decisions that I  have been making lately.

And from my violet vantage point, I know Who holds my future in His hands; and that is enough for me, tired as I am.

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